LEARN TO SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE OR (BUY A AWESOME NEW HAT)

It’s a bit cheesy, I know, but I’m going with it because I’m improvising.

In fact, one of the most useful tools in learning a language is improvising. That’s not to say, you shouldn’t ever study, but that is to say to not give up easily the moment you feel completely lost. Which at first, is frequent.

Right now, I’m one voice out of many, many–(so many, many’s)– polyglots, most of whom are probably a lot further along in their abilities and personal language libraries than I am. However, one must begin somewhere and so I begin here, at the beginning.

If you’re looking for academic writing and technical, widely accepted use of the English language, this is not the space. Language is not a stagnant old rotting grandmother to be tucked away in a retirement home– it’s a living beast. It’s carnal. It’s dynamic. It’s sexy.

This first post is more of an introduction and a greeting. To the world of people, (especially Americans) who are tired of being the only people at a party who can’t speak a second language, hello, from backwards greeting land!

If you’re not interested in learning a second language or don’t think you have the time to, then you’re who I’m chasing after. I’m here to convince you that you really want this, that you really need to pick up this awesome new hat. (Well not really) I failed out of salesman school because I refused to lie and give strangers blow jobs. (Not that I’m against giving, it’s just got to be the right person, you know?)

Anyway. Learning a language is as easy to start as buying a ridiculous hat. You don’t debate with yourself the pros and cons of whether or not that hat will benefit you or how long until it gets blown away by the inevitable winds of Time and mortality, or the sun roof of your car–you just buy it because it’s fun and you like it.

It doesn’t have to be a ridiculous hat. Maybe you like fun socks, or overalls, or both, (god help you); whatever it is that you buy at random because you like it, that’s how language learning should start.

That’s to say, don’t tell yourself that you should be learning Spanish because it might help you get a job, if you want to learn Swahili because it sounds cool. Do it. You’ll have fun and meet great people wherever you go. Unless. Unless, you have a time machine and use it to go back and learn German from the Nazis then, perhaps you may not meet great people. But I’m not judging. Greatness, like good and evil and kinky and vanilla are all subjective. But I die grass. Yes that’s a cheesy intentional typo. Because in truth language is a ridiculous nonsensical thing that is fun to play with. So play. Learn a language and butcher it, and maybe even go on to becoming a master butcher.

That’s all I’ve got for now. This ought to serve as a good introduction to someone who’s bringing the weird and hopefully the fun back to not being trapped in one hat for the rest of our short wonderful little lives.

Step 1: Buying an awesome hat

Step 1: Buy an awesome hat

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